I finished reading "Norwegian Wood" in my sophomore year. I had heard of the fame of this book for a long time, but I never took the time to read it until I read it on the high-speed train back home. I still remember clearly that after finishing it, I felt a kind of inexplicable melancholy and depression. This book is also the second work by a Japanese writer that made me unable to calm down for a long time. The first one was "No Longer Human" by Osamu Dazai, which I read in high school. However, the impact of "Norwegian Wood" on me was even more profound, to the point that I often joke that "Japan is my second hometown" in terms of literature. So I took it out again to read and write down some things to keep.
In fact, the story told in the whole book is ostensibly about the pain of youth, but it deeply conveys the redemption of oneself. Haruki Murakami uses a slightly dull but not so sad writing style to tell us a story about the growth of adolescence. Youth is always ignorant. There is confusion, impulse, inferiority, loneliness, enthusiasm, frustration, and helplessness. Wanting to grow up, looking around on the road. There are choices to make, indecisiveness, worries, and regrets. There is a firm belief in the heart, but it is often unable to resist the temptations of the outside world. The essence of pain is the inability to let go, it is one's own punishment to oneself.
I remember there was a passage in the book, "We have nurtured death by being born at the same time, but this is only a small part of the wisdom we must understand. But Naoko's death made me understand that no matter how familiar we are with wisdom, it cannot eliminate the grief caused by the death of a loved one. No matter what wisdom, what sincerity, what tenacity, what tenderness, it cannot dispel this grief. The only thing we can do is to break free from this grief and gain some wisdom from it. However, any wisdom gained, in the face of the unexpected, is so weak and powerless-----I listen to the sound of the dark night and the wind, day after day, so desperately. I am disheveled, carrying a backpack, walking along the coast in early autumn, constantly heading west, heading west..." When I first read this passage, it exploded in my heart like thunder on the ground. Every word and every sentence in this passage was like a surge of hot blood rushing from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, making every pore on my body open, my heart beating faster. I read it over and over again, still deeply shocked by the grief revealed in this passage. It strongly shook my body and mind. I believe that only those who have seriously thought about life and death can understand the grief revealed in this passage. It is the result of experiencing the grief brought by death and thinking hard in loneliness.
After Naoko's death, Watanabe began to understand that love and sex are actually completely unified in his relationship with Midori. He loved Naoko, and he also loved Midori. In fact, Naoko's existence was only a static part of Watanabe. She stayed deep in Watanabe's body, like death, like the already dead Reiko. They were all just the places where Watanabe had been static for a long time, just like Watanabe's state of life, calm, stable, and silent, because this is the shadow brought by death, and also the sequelae brought by Naoko's illness. He wanted to maintain this stillness to cherish the beautiful years of the past. But in the process of his gradual growth, he was different from Reiko. He did not evade his responsibilities, but faced them bravely. After visiting Naoko, he began to take responsibility for Naoko's future. He became strong and brave, and he started to take on responsibilities. In this process, he began to change. But in this process, Midori, as a living girl, lived vigorously by his side. He also began to want to grow up, so the balance of love slowly shifted to Midori. This is a love story, and we can clearly see the attitude of men towards love and sex.
Naoko and Midori are two different parts of Watanabe. One is static and the other is lively. One is silent and the other is alive. As Reiko said, "Sailing on the beautiful lake in the sunny weather, we will feel the charm of the blue sky and the beauty of the lake at the same time-they are the same principle."
At the same time, Watanabe's words deeply fascinated me:
"I like you the most, Midori."
"To what extent?"
"Like a bear in spring."
"..."
"In the spring field, you are walking alone, and a cute little bear walks towards you. Its fur is as soft as velvet, and its eyes are round and bulging. It says to you, 'Hello, miss, would you like to roll and play with me?' Then, you hug the little bear and roll down the hill covered with clover, playing all day long. Isn't it wonderful?"
"It's amazing."
"That's how much I like you."
"It's heavenly."
"Do you like my hairstyle?"
"It's incredibly good."
"How good is it?"
"All the trees in the forests of the whole world fall to the ground like melted butter."
"How much do you like me?"
"All the tigers in the forests of the whole world melt into butter."
Next, the most worthy of in-depth exploration in the book is Watanabe's emotional line. I agree with a sentence: "Liking is a light love, and love is a deep like." Liking someone, even their shortcomings are considered cute, because there is a faint love in the heart, and there is no need to take it seriously. So Watanabe likes Naoko and promises that one day he will fully understand her. Watanabe's liking for Naoko is mixed with many elements. At first, it was pity:
"I felt sorry for Naoko. What she wanted was not my arm, but someone else's arm. What she wanted was not my body temperature, but someone else's body temperature. And I can only be myself, so I always feel a little guilty."
Later, it was sympathy, mutual redemption, and comfort, a religious-like liking:
"After Kizuki died, I lost someone I could honestly talk to about my feelings, and I think you did too. I think, maybe the feelings we pursued have surpassed what we imagined. It is precisely because of this that we have taken many detours, or in a sense, we have gone astray. I also thought that maybe I shouldn't have done that, but there was no other way. At that time, I felt an intimate and warm feeling from you, a feeling that I had never felt before."
Later, it became blurred, like purely liking this person:
"I hope you can remember me, remember that I have lived like this, and stayed by your side like this. Maybe always remember?"
"I will never forget. How can I forget you?"
Later, Watanabe himself also expressed that his love for Naoko became blurred due to the complex situation and the long-term relationship.
Love is a deep like. Clearly seeing the other person's shortcomings, there is also a normal rejection, but this liking is accumulated little by little, with a deep imprint in the bones, and will not be shaken by small rejections. So Watanabe loves Midori, and this love is manifested as liking mentioned many times. You see, although Midori is talkative and sometimes rough like a woodcutter woman, Watanabe deeply likes her. However, Watanabe has experienced worldly sorrows and is relatively simple-minded, not very perceptive. If it weren't for Midori's decisive confession, I don't think he would have clearly seen his own heart. Moreover, Midori often ends her sentences with questions, giving the other person room to answer. In the process of questioning and answering, their communication and understanding gradually deepen.
Although Midori sometimes uses vulgar language, it may be because of her extra clear and sincere nature. Modern people's view of "sex" has been greatly discounted due to excessive exposure to dirty obscenities and rape in the news, so the "sex" in Midori's mouth and even in Murakami's book is wearing colored glasses.
Murakami once said in an interview: "I think sex is a... spiritual commitment. Good sex can heal your wounds, activate your imagination, and is a path to a higher and better place. In this sense, the women in my stories are a medium—a messenger of a new world. That's why they always appear actively by the protagonist's side, rather than the protagonist approaching them."
Sincere and lovely, silly and warm, it is simply to hold a beating heart to the other person. This is our Midori Kobayashi. In the communication between Watanabe and Midori, Midori will use comprehensive and detailed expressions and strong emotions, fearing to miss any details. As for Watanabe, he can be considered a good listener with strong patience. Midori's liveliness and agility just balance Watanabe's dullness and chaos when he empties himself, and the two naturally attract each other.
Finally, I want to talk about the sense of loneliness conveyed in the book. I don't think I am a truly lonely person, but later I met lonely people and suddenly realized that they are the real me: the vulnerability revealed unintentionally, the self-entertainment immersed in loneliness, attracted by those who are different, the rejection of triviality and noise, the worry of being misunderstood, and the unwillingness to trouble others... Loneliness becomes clear, and I begin to perceive its existence clearly.
In fact, the instinct of human beings is to actively communicate with others. And a constantly growing personality will suppress the resistance to one's own instincts and prefer to communicate with and understand others. Gradually, the attribute of loneliness is exposed. Loneliness is precious. It allows you to have yourself, avoid trivial matters, think clearly, and gain healing. But I believe that those who can share loneliness with you are extremely precious.
In life, I originally thought that walking with the crowd is slow, and walking alone is fast. But in the end, I found that walking alone is fast, and walking with the crowd is far.
In terms of emotions, obviously liking this person, but suppressing emotions with reason, or constantly speculating and testing; obviously feeling nothing for that person, but accepting the other person's emotions rationally, and then getting along with a barrier. This is not loneliness, this is pessimism and numb loneliness.
Always remember:
"It's okay to be alone, as long as you can love someone from the bottom of your heart, life will be saved, even if you can't live with them."
The above is all that "Norwegian Wood" has brought to me. Thank you for this book, which made me understand what true love is, how to correctly treat the relationship between love and sex, and how to view life and death. "A person's life is destined to be full of sadness and pain, and if you try to find redemption from others, you will ultimately fail, definitely fail." We don't need to search for it from others, life itself is bearable and even enjoyable. Then, when it comes to loving someone, there is no expectation of redemption, no lack, only love remains, nothing else is desired.
Only self-redemption.