Hiding in the room, looking at the summer from afar, the high contrast between the red houses and green trees under the brilliant sunlight, combined with the freshly consumed iced latte, creates an indescribable summer mood.
"How terrifying life without summer vacation would be," as a child, I always worried about this. Looking at the green trees filling the gaps between buildings outside the window, I realized that I could no longer imagine what summer vacation feels like.
When we were young, we longed to grow up, and when we grew up, we missed our youth. In the continuous cycle of anticipation and disappointment, we slowly walk through life. The long daylight occasionally makes us lose focus while staring out the window. The thoughts and feelings at this moment can only be clearly captured after summer ends, and when we bite into a watermelon.
There's no need to feel lost for things that didn't happen or things we can't go back to. Dreams on midsummer nights always come too late. Summer is intense, real, something to look forward to, and something to reminisce about. In fact, we have already experienced many summer vacations, but it is only when the memories of the present and the past differ greatly that we can clearly sense the passage of time.
What was summer vacation like in my memory? It was the old popsicles and puddings sold at the small store on the old street; it was the mung bean soup brewed by my mother; it was the endless watching of "Journey to the West" and "My Fair Princess"; it was the basketball jersey soaked with sweat and the rosy cheeks; it was the red marks left on the face after waking up from a nap on a cool mat; it was the evasive behavior in front of the girl I liked on campus. As an adult, I rarely reminisce about the carefree days of my youth, but when asked about my most profound impressions, I still think of these happy memories from my youth.
If time could be reversed, would these be the only happy memories filled with joyful holiday moments? In childhood, there were endless interest classes, and in middle and high school, countless tutoring classes. TV shows never had a clear beginning or end, and after one episode of an animated series, the rest had to be filled in by my friends' imagination. I didn't know why the girl I liked always remained silent, and I didn't know if I would finish my summer homework before school started. I wished to grow up, to have the freedom to play games, freedom in my daily routine, freedom to watch TV, and freedom to eat ice cream every day. Looking at ourselves from different timelines, we see each other's few moments of happiness and the regrets reflected in those moments. I want to tell myself to cherish everything I have now and not forget the past that has become history. But some regrets are unforgettable, so what can we do?
In the music album "Summer Encore," Jin Chengzhi said, "Actually, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you can imagine the taste of orange soda when you close your eyes, remember the hesitant lips sweating, the meaning of summer deepens." I deeply agree with this.
There's no need to forget those regrets, just like the happy moments that can't be relived. Although they may increase dissatisfaction with the present when remembered, I once heard an educational story. In the millennium, a group of middle-class people came to Dali and created a utopian environment for their children. Although the children had an incredibly happy childhood, they couldn't escape the reality of the world and still had to adapt to our real society. In this story, I saw the transition from carefree childhood to facing a complex world, which seems to be a reflection of everyone's growth. I really like a sentence from this story, "Create a happiness bank for children, depositing lots of happiness inside. When they grow up and look back, they will draw a lot of happiness from it." At this moment, I looked back at my own childhood, the things I lost and the infinite nostalgia gradually changed. Of course, I know that not everyone cherishes their childhood. Some people spent the entire summer working in their parents' shops, while others faced pressures beyond their age in complicated family environments. Although these troubles and frustrations may be the underlying color of childhood, it doesn't mean that childhood is not beautiful and happy. It also doesn't mean that the "happiness bank" is empty. In fact, every memory of past summers is a reserve, or rather, the "interest" generated by the few moments of happiness.
I miss not only those carefree days, but also the version of myself who was easily satisfied and easily happy. When my father went on business trips, I would always pester him to bring back toys like Transformers and Ultraman. Then I would silently mark the days until my father returned home and be happy for a while. Actually, that curious and always happy version of myself has never disappeared. On the contrary, it is because we will never forget that it will always exist in our hearts.
Remember the beauty of childhood summers, remember the regrets that make memories more memorable, and then consider how to live the present life well. Although we know that it is impossible to hold onto everything, there will always be things that are too late or things we can't remember happening at every stage of life. But there is always a way to make every summer worth remembering. My most common method is to set goals for myself, such as "enjoying crayfish to the fullest," "drinking a bowl of mung bean soup," "going to a street stall with friends to eat skewers," "going to the beach to collect seashells," and so on. Each accomplishment feels like achieving something in a game, and I savor life with satisfaction. However, I still know that I will never grasp all the beauty. The tighter I hold on, the more slips through my fingers. So, I am willing to repeatedly review the gentle moments I have experienced in my heart, and peacefully live each ordinary but extraordinary day.
Let the wind blow slowly, let the clouds commemorate for me, the fleeting youth and the inevitably regretful summer. Suddenly, I remember the passing years, and I will remember that I once dared to love a dream at all costs and abandon the world. 🌬️